


The Best Friend’s Lament

by Yallsehood



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: A little Based off Guy That I’d Kinda be Into from Be More Chill, A little bit based off Heather?, Abigail and Sebastian last relationship, Angst, Best Friend Pining, Best Friends, Bisexual Sebastian, Breaking down, Candy, Cigarettes, Coming Out, Crying, Friendship, Gay, Gay Panic, Heartache, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Heavy Angst, M/M, Not Fluff, One-Sided Attraction, Past Relationships, Pining, Pining for a best friend, Sam Angst, Sam Plays Guitar, Sam pining for Sebastian, Sambastian friendship, Sebastian is bi, Sebastian/Abigail mentioned, Smoking, Some background relationships mentioned, Songfic? I think so, Stardew Valley angst, The Stardew Valley Band, angsty Sam hours, gay rambling, it’s about the Yearning, no happy ending, one sided feelings, one sided pining, sam is gay, sambastian - Freeform, self deprication, self doubt, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-24 19:33:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30077244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yallsehood/pseuds/Yallsehood
Summary: It was Saturday. Saturday. Yes, just another Saturday! Sam and Sebastian always hung out together. It was just... something different today. Sam felt as if all his nerves were mangled; Sebastian mentioned the night before he had something he’d been meaning to talk to Sam about. The golden haired anime boy swore this could mean his best friend could having feelings for him, or maybe that was what he’d been hoping for. Sebastian hadn’t been with Abigail in a long time, so maybe this was his chance.
Relationships: Sam/Sebastian (Stardew Valley), Sebastian/Male Player (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	1. Guy He’s So Kinda Into

It was any normal Saturday in Pelican Town. It was Summer, so the majority of citizens were content. The sun was blaring brightly up in the sky as everyone went about their business. Alex made his way to the beach to play catch with himself, Haley was busy making herself look pretty as she waited for Alex to show up at the ice cream stand later, Emily was working on some sewing project, Elliott was gazing at the waves begging for Inspiration, and Sam was getting ready to see his best friend in the entire world. 

After getting his ass kicked in pool last night, Sam spent some time playing guitar. Luckily, Jodi didn’t yell at him for it. He’d been taking this band stuff extremely seriously lately. Maybe it was because Sam was truly passionate about music over his school work, or because of the feelings he had developed for his emo best friend. Sebastian was something else. Sure, some people might compare him to a flower wilting in the sun, but Sam thought Sebastian was better than skateboarding. No one knew him as well as Sebastian did, and Sebastian was always patient with him when he didn’t understand something. He was kind… and maybe a bit of an asshole sometimes, but certainly not in a bad way. Sam could find it endearing sometimes. It was just how Sebastian expressed himself, okay?    
The blond haired idiot always woke up before Sebastian and sat under the tree just south of his blue house. He knew Sebastian woke up later and had to make his way down from the mountains. Sam had suggested going to his place to hangout before, but Sebastian said he liked being away from home; besides, he always enjoyed the walk into town. Sam didn’t understand how someone could enjoy so much silence, but he never questioned Sebastian about it. Today he didn’t even have the time to think about all of that. Last night at the saloon Sebastian mentioned he had something he needed to get off his chest; honestly, Sam was hoping Sebastian was on the same page as him. Yeah, Sam could be oblivious sometimes, but he was sure Sebastian must have some kind of feelings for him, right? They spent so much time together; they shared things with each other they wouldn’t tell anyone else. Sure, Sam had never really come out to Sebastian, but on some level Sebastian had to know… right? Maybe he was just hopeful. There wasn’t anything wrong with that… but part of him certainly thought he was silly for even imagining Sebastian might look at him that way. The news was likely about Sebastian finally being able to move out of the valley; he talked about how much he hated it all of the time. 

Well, Sam supposed time would only tell. He gazed up at the sky as he watched the clouds go by. It really was gorgeous outside today, so Sam guessed Sebastian wouldn’t want to spend too much time outside; he much preferred the colder weather. Sam had gone frog hunting with Sebastian in the rain before. He was so cute when he got excited. Sebastian would genuinely smile, get quiet, and gently tug Sam’s hand when he saw a frog. There were a few occasions where Sam had scared them off, but Sebastian luckily always forgave him; there were always more frogs to find. Yoba… it was so nice to see Sebastian happy. Sam wanted to make him happy in the way Sebastian made him happy. Would that even be possible? Sam wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Sebastian date someone before, huh… Well, he had something with Abigail going on for a while, but that ended over a year ago now. Sam just hoped this thing Sebastian was nervous to share wasn’t the fact his feelings for Abigail were surfacing again. Sebastian mentioned not wanting to talk about this in front of Abigail, and he had also heard Maru teasing him to make a move on her already. No way Sam would have to watch his two best friends date while being in love with one of them, right? He wouldn’t be able to take it. 

As he tried to ignore the dull aching feeling in his chest, Sam checked the time on his phone. Hm, Sebastian was late. That wasn’t like him. Sam turned over his shoulder and looked down the way Sebastian usually came from. Damn, was Sebastian so nervous about talking he was taking the long way to Sam’s house? Ah. Sam tried not to get his hopes up as he imagined Sebastian confessing having feelings for him, but maybe that was why he was taking so long to get there. He just hoped he wouldn’t have to postpone their jam session for later today. Abigail was joining them! Yoba, Sam was so excited to get the band together just to jam. It sounded like a very awesome Saturday to him!    
“Hey, Sam.” A low voice called to him to pull him out of his thoughts. As Sam turned around, he saw his best friend. “Sorry it took me so long. I was planning for our next Solarion Chronicles adventure.”   
“No biggie, homeslice.” Sam said as he stood up and stretched. He knew how these Saturday hangouts usually went. It started with Sebastian watching him try to defeat some impossible video game, then they’d jam out on synthesizer on guitar, and they’d end the night with some deep talking while Sebastian smoked. Sometimes they’d binge some anime together, but it just depended on how long they were jamming for. “You wanted to talk, right?”   
Sebastian scoffed as he shoved his pale, shaky hands into his hoodie pockets. He was a lot more nervous than he intended to be. “Ugh, you’re really not gonna let me off the hook, huh?” Sebastian cocked his pierced brow.

The blond nodded. “You got me curious, Seb!” He shrugged as that innocent grin of his spread across his face. This was all building so much tension in Sam’s body. He really wanted to know what Sebastian was so nervous about.    
“Alright, Sammy. Cool your jets, bud.” Sebastian assured; Sam's excitement made him laugh softly.    
“My room?”   
“Is the house empty?”   
“Lil bro is out at the playground with that Jas girl, and I think Ma’s at Joja or Pierre’s or something.”   
“Inside it is - thank yoba.” He mumbled. 

Sam made sure his gaming device was still in his pocket since he was sort of expecting today to still go normally, but Sebastian wanted to talk in private. This must be a pretty serious topic if Sebastian wanted some privacy. Was it really only something to hear? Did that mean Sebastian could have feelings for him? He hoped it wasn’t anything too serious. Sam would hate to see Sebastian upset or something, but he didn’t really look upset - well, not more gloomy than normal really. 

The emo was aware what he had to say may be unexpected from him, but he knew his best friend needed to know. Sam was one of the people he trusted more than anything else in the world. Sebastian wasn’t close with a lot of people because he found it easier to keep people at a distance, but he would never shut Sam out like that. Well, at least he didn’t really think he would ever do that. Even though he really wanted to tell Sam this, his nerves kept on building the longer he waited. Getting into Sam’s room and sitting on the bed so they could talk stuff out or something.   
Sam sighed as he leaned back against his headboard while Sebastian was leaning against the end of the bed. “Dude, you look nervous as all get out.”   
“I am.”   
“Need to smoke?”   
“Your mom would kill me.”   
Sam smiled softly, “smart guy.” Sam complimented. He sighed as he tried to think for a moment. He knew smoking calmed Sebastian’s nerves a lot, and Sam really didn’t want his best friend to be nervous. He went over to the candy jar he kept in his jar, and offered Sebastian a lollipop to help. “Will this do?”   
Playfully, Sebastian rolled his eyes. He nodded and took one of his hands out of his pocket to take the lollipop from Sam’s hand. He noticed it wasn’t cherry flavored; thank goodness honestly because he absolutely despised the flavor for some reason. It just tasted like medicine to him, and no one wanted that when they had a lollipop. Anyhow, Sebastian popped the lollipop into his mouth. “Thanks…” He sighed as he looked at his best friend again. The way Sam’s blue eyes seemed to reflect his eagerness seemed to make Sebastian more nervous. “I know this may seem weird to hear because I.. don’t think I’ve ever talked about anything like this with you - or anyone for that matter.”   
“Is it bad?”   
“No… yes? I’m not sure really.” Sebastian awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, and wasn’t sure what to do about it. How did one even start a conversation like this? Sebastian did his best to take a deep breath to keep himself calm. “I think I have feelings for someone.”   
Holy Shit. Was this for real? Sam felt his heart start to race. Yeah, Sam didn’t know who this someone was, but there was still a chance that it could be him. That was some pretty good probability; at least, Sam was really hoping so. “That’s not a bad thing, Bash!” Sam said, playfully punching his arm as he sat up a little bit. He was really happy for Sebastian. “Who’s the lucky gal?”   
“It’s a guy.”

Even better news! “First guy crush?” Sam asked. He was smiling a little bit; he’d never seen Sebastian with a guy before. Well, he’d certainly had dreams about it. Sam just hoped he could be Sebastian’s first boyfriend. Life would be so rad if he could walk through while holding his best friend’s hand - romantically for once.    
Shyly, Sebastian nodded. His cheeks were a light pink. He’d known he was bisexual for awhile, but he’d never been with a guy before. Yeah, Sam was his first kiss a few years ago, but they’d never actually gone out. It’s not like there were a ton of handsome bachelors for him to date in Pelican Town anyways though. It was slim pickings, but he was sort of excited. He really liked this guy, and some many pictures of this guy were running through his head - poor guy’s feet must be sore. “Um, yeah. I just..” Sebastian looked down at his trembling hands. He wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t seem to shake how nervous he was. “Feel like it’s a whole other ballpark, I guess. I mean, I’m already not great with girls, so why would I be good with guys? I’m not good with people, period. I’m a fuck up.”    
“Stop talking bad about my bestie, dude.”

“Never.”   
“Seb.” Sam turned Sebastian’s face so he would look at him instead of his hands. He didn’t want Sebastian getting so caught up in his fear that he would not be able to talk. “You’re gonna be fine. Anyone who doesn’t love is a damn fool.” Sam assured him. Sometimes he himself felt like a fool for being in love with Sebastian, but he wasn’t focused on how dumb he might be. He wanted to know more.    
“I don’t love myself.”   
“... Sebastian, I swear to Yoba-”   
“What? You’ll swear to make me love myself and make me an egotistical prick?”   
“Abby said there’s nothing wrong with self love!”   
“She eats rocks!” Sebastian exclaimed, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth - causing it to make a popping noise as he did so. His tongue was purple thanks to the sweet piece of candy as well. “Can we focus?”   
Sam nodded a bit. His eyes got slightly distracted as he watched Sebastian lick the lollipop. Did it really help with his nerves like smoking did? It was probably just to replace the feeling of something being inside his mouth. “Yuh, sorry.” He muttered as he shook his head. “So.. there’s more?” 

Of course there was more. There was always more. Sebastian had so many thoughts flooding his mind, but he didn’t need Sam to know all of them. Listen, he cared about Sam, but that didn’t mean Sam had to know about every single detail of his life. “I was thinking about asking him out sometime… I dunno. I don’t really go out much other than to the city, but maybe a quiet night when no one else is really at the Stardrop Saloon?”   
“Sounds romantic.”   
“That sarcasm?”   
“Uh, no?” Sam looked at Sebastian who now looked like a deer in headlights. Sebastian had never really planned out a date before, had he? “Date later. Asking him out is more important really. Besides, what’s the dude like?”   
Honestly? Sebastian didn’t think Sam would care that much; it hadn’t added up in his head why Sam was so interested in this topic. Sam was always such a sweetheart, so Sebastian just shrugged it off when his brain told him to question why Sam was so intrigued. He had no idea Sam was pining for him. “Oh, he’s like a ray of sunshine. I know I like stormy days, but it’s all I can seem to compare the guy to.” Sebastian shrugged, his face lighting up a bit as he spoke about the man he had feelings for. There were stars dancing in his purple eyes. “It’s like walking down to the beach and watching the tide rush in as you take a deep breath. He just makes life feel lighter. Does that make any-”   
“Yes.” Sam answered without hesitation. It made a ton of sense to him. And maybe… just maybe did the guy remind Sebastian of the son because he was blond? Because his smile was so dazzlingly bright? Sam just kept his fingers crossed in silence. “Cause you usually feel weighed down by life.” 

After putting the lollipop back into his mouth, Sebastian snapped his fingers and pointed at Sam. “Exactly!” He exclaimed, almost excited. It was the first time in a long time Sebastian had a genuine smile on his face, and he had no idea he was giving Sam butterflies. There was a beauty to Sebastian’s natural smile; it was always pleasant to see. “It’s refreshing, Sam. Can you believe I found someone I think I could actually date? I mean, he seems like he cares about me. He’s asked about my interests and what I plan to do with my work life. What my dreams are - and I wasn’t even sure I had those. Now, I do, and I think it’s him. It’s like lightning shoots through me when we make eye contact and…”   
Sebastian kept on talking. Sam was hanging onto every word the emo boy said. He took an interest in what Sebastian was interested in before. That was how they ended up playing Solarian Chronicles in the first place! Couldn’t he be Sebastian’s dream? Sebastian had been his for such a long time now. 

There was something nice about watching Sebastian ramble. His cheeks were redder than the cherry lollipop Sam left in the candy jar. He was so adorable. Sam thought the adjective wasn’t quite what fit Sebastian’s aesthetic - if Sam even knew what an aesthetic was - however, there was beauty to Sebastian. The man was handsome in ways Sam couldn’t describe, but while he was watching Sebastian flap his hoodie sleeves while talking about this guy? The only word that came to Sam’s mind was adorable. 

Was Sebastian in another world? That was wild. He just seemed so happy; Sam wanted to make him happy. Sam still remembered their first kiss, and he wanted that back in his life. It was like he could have heard fireworks when it happened, and fireworks were always so nice to see, were they not? He wanted to feel like that… feel like he could fly. “Do I know the guy?” Sam suddenly asked, bringing himself back to earth. 

It was like Sebastian’s brain had a record scratch moment. He had to stop in the middle of his gay ramble. Who it was? His name must’ve slipped Sebastian’s mind. He looked at Sam and grabbed both his hands. “Promise me you won’t tell my mom. She will hound my ass if she knows I like someone.”   
Sam swallowed as he nodded. “I promise.” He said quietly. They were only holding hands, but Sam was positive Sebastian could feel how loud his heart was racing. Come on, he was begging for Sebastian to say his name. He couldn’t think of anyone else Sebastian could’ve been talking about. This could be it. He could finally be with-

“You know the farmer who moved in awhile back?” 

Sam’s entire world came to a halt. He swore he heard glass shatter, and he tried not to let Sebastian see his pain. He swallowed his pain and his pride. How could he be so foolish? He just nodded slowly. Sebastian was still looking at him with that handsome smile, and that almost made it so much worse. The very smile that was filling his heart with love moments ago was now tearing it apart. “What? Yeah, uh… which one? There’s like four, dude.” Sam commented, slowly dropping Sebastian’s hands from his. He didn’t want Sebastian to know his heart had completely stopped beating.    
“Oh, he’s the short one!” Sebastian pointed out. He knew that no one on the farm was particularly tall, so that likely didn’t help much. He laughed a bit awkwardly at his own excitement and calmed down. “Usually wears yellow, has the cutest little freckles, super friendly, wears glasses, has heterochromia, … stops by to see me sometimes?”   
Oh yeah. Him. Sam just nodded again as he leaned back against his bed. Yoba, he wasn’t in the mood to continue this conversation - or do anything else really. This was worse than the pickle situation… Ugh, better not think about that. Pickles would only make him even more depressed right now. “I’m sure he’ll say yes to you if you asked him out, Seb.”   
“Really?”   
He looked like a kid on Christmas. Seriously, Sam wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Sebastian this happy before. It’d also just been a long time since Sebastian seemed this happy. “Like yuh, dude.” Sam answered, keeping up his facade of being thrilled for his best friend.    
“Thanks, Sammy.” Sebastian gave a soft smirk. It seemed he was done being a totally gay idiot. He really was head over heels. “I’d be the luckiest guy in the world…”

No. That farmer was the luckiest guy in the world if he got to go out with Sebastian. Sam felt nothing but jealousy there for a moment, but he had to remind himself that Sebastian’s happiness was what mattered right now. He just patted Sebastian’s shoulder. He noticed Sebastian give him a confused look after a moment though. Shit. He didn’t say anything out loud, did he? “What up?”   
Sebastian pointed over to the place where Sam’s bedroom garbage usually was before looking back at the guy he just broke the heart of. “Your garbage is gone.”   
“Heh… Yeah.” Sam broke it when he was trying to skateboard indoors last week. “Broke it. Um, you know where the one in the kitchen is, yeah?”

Sebastian nodded and got off the bed. “Be right back, bro.” He said as he left Sam’s room to get to the kitchen. It wasn’t a very long walk, but hopefully it would give Sam some time to think about everything that just happened. Yoba, that couldn’t have really gone worse. It was as if a knife grew inside of Sam’s heart and was trying to cut its way out by each individual heartstring one by one. 

He rolled over and laid on his side as he curled into a ball. How could he think that their friendship could be anything more? Sebastian saw him as a best friend at most. Sam could understand that. He was nearly as amazing as the farmer, but that didn’t make the pain go away. Sam didn’t realize there were a few hot tears rolling down his cheeks all because the charmingly mysterious emo man liked someone else. He almost wanted to be alone, but he knew there was no point in being alone. He would only sink further into his own sorrows. Even so, this entire feeling was not only shattering his heart but it was shaking his entire body. There was no recovery from this, was there? 

That was when the doorbell rang. Abigail. They were supposed to have a band practice today, and Sam was absolutely positive he wouldn’t be able to go through with this. Sam didn’t want anyone to see him in this state. He wondered if he had told Sebastian of his feelings before if things would have been different. He was too scared to even try though. He had been in the closet his whole life, and this fear was hurting him a lot more than helping. Who’s to say if he had confessed before the farmers had shown up things could have gone differently? No. That was back when he was having flings with Abigail. There was always someone else, wasn’t there? What a pain. Well, as Sam heard his bedroom door open once again, he was positive of one thing: love was for fools. 


	2. Offbeat Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During band practice, Sam didn’t seem to be acting like himself. Abigail, concerned for her friend, decided to reach out to Sam and see if she can help him.

Band practice could be pretty mundane sometimes. Usually, Saturdays only consisted of Sebastian and Sam. For some odd reason, Sam was actually glad Abigail was around that Saturday. He was hoping she would be able to distract Sebastian from the fact he felt like absolute garbage. 

It had only been about an hour since Sebastian informed Sam of who he truly liked, and it wasn’t him. It was soul crushing; Sam was doing his best to keep that under the surface as he got lost in playing guitar. The shiny red guitar was one of Sam’s favorite things he owned, and some days all he wanted to do was play. Unfortunately, today was not one of those days. He swore his fingers were burning against the strings of the guitar. Nothing felt right anymore. He was barely even there. 

Unfortunately for him, Sam’s gaze ended up looking over at Sebastian. He tried to swallow the ball of tears building on his throat. He was so cute when he focused. Sebastian’s dark purple bangs were just barely covering his eyes as he fiddled with the keys of the synthesizer. He was bobbing his head and tapping his feet to the beat of the music. His tongue was slightly sticking out of his mouth as he gently bit down on it. Sebastian had lost himself in the music. Sam could often do that too, but he found himself lost in the beauty of his emo best friend instead. Why would he ever want to look away? 

What was it the farmer had that he didn’t? Sam was hardworking. He made the majority of the salary for his family since he worked at Jojamart. Jodi didn’t work, and his brother was much too young. So Sam was just as hardworking as the farmer! Just a different job. He also visited Sebastian quite often. He may not bring gifts, but he’d usually bring over a pizza when he went over to play Solarian Chronicles! Sam was just doing his best. He was trying! Maybe he wasn’t doing enough. Maybe he wasn’t enough… 

The more he thought about the cause of his aching heart, the further he drifted away from the music. Fortunately, the girl on drums wasn’t too lost in it. They weren’t really playing one of her favorite songs. She stopped playing and attempted to blow her light purple locks out of her face. The only one still playing was Sebastian, so she just gently threw a drumstick at him. “Seb.”    
“Abby, what the hell?” Sebastian said as he turned off his keyboard. 

She snickered to herself as she stood up. “What? I missed.”   
Sam couldn’t remember the last time he heard them banter like this. Yoba, he remembered when they used to be mad at one another when they broke up. It wasn’t like they were dating, but there was still love there - well, at least there was on one side. That was when it clicked in Sam’s mind, Sebastian had broken another person’s heart in this room. Maybe would understand somehow… and he trusted her. 

Sebastian softly groaned as he tossed the drumstick back at her. He took note it had felt different in his hand. “New sticks?” He questioned as he leaned back against the wall of Sam’s bedroom. 

She nodded as she set the drumsticks on the snare of the drumset. “Mhm, Mom and Dad were fighting all weekend. Played too long.” 

“Your calluses okay, Abby?” Sam chimed in. He didn’t want the other two to notice he had not been his normal sunshine-y himself. 

Abigail looked down at her hands and nodded before placing them on her hips. She hadn’t realized they could’ve gotten worse. Her hands were pretty tough from playing drums for so long. “I remembered to take my rings off this time. No blood, no harm.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes as he scoffed a bit. “Yeah, sure, no harm.” He commented as he looked over at his two best friends. “You threw a drumstick at my damn head.” He commented. He wasn’t actually hurt by the drumstick, but he was curious as to why the punk girl had thrown the light up purple drumstick at his head.    
She had sighed and looked over at Sam for a moment. “Something was off with the flow.” She looked back at Sebastian. “Did something happen between you two before I got here?” She questioned.    
Both of the boys’ faces had flushed for different, very gay, reasons. Sebastian wasn’t ready for anyone else to know about his feelings for the local farm boy with heterochromia. He was almost too scared to tell Sam! Speaking of the blond best friend, he was shocked Abigail had even thought something  _ could _ have happened between them. Did Abigail know he was gay or something? If she had figured out, Sam started to worry that over people may now. He could only imagine how red his face was. 

The emo shook his head. “No, just a normal Saturday morning.” He muttered, but his tone seemed to fall more as he heard his phone start to go off. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cellular device. “Shit…”   
Sam cocked a brow as he took off his guitar and put it on the stand. If Sebastian was getting a phone call, it usually meant that there would be a long break in band practice. “Is it your mom? Tell me it’s your mom, Bash.” Sam was practically begging. He didn’t want today to be any longer that it had been. 

“I wish, dude.” Sebastian sighed. He took the call and left the room. He mouthed an apology to Abigail and Sam, but they both waved him off. They couldn’t control when Demetrius called him. They just hoped it wouldn’t be anything too horrible. 

After a few seconds, Sam went back to his sorrowful state, and Abigail cocked a brow as she looked at him. “Did you want to tell me what happened?” She questioned. She wasn’t completely blind, and Sam was acting differently today. 

Sam sat down on the floor by his bed. He had grabbed a lollipop from the candy dish in his room. He looked over at Abigail with as much confidence as he could muster while he was breaking down on the inside. “Nothing happened.” He attempted to lie, but he couldn’t keep looking at the purple haired girl as he did so. 

Abigail knew that Sam was a terrible liar. She sat next to him on the floor and hugged her right knee to her chest. There was no way she was going to start small talk about what Sebastian might’ve gotten a phone call about, so she was going to push. “He upset you.” Abigail commented. “You’re looking at him differently.”

Nervously, Sam took the lollipop out of his mouth. “You see the way I look at him?”    
“I’m not blind, Sammy.” Abigail gently ruffled Sam’s hair, but then she watched all happiness drain from Sam’s face completely. She was worried she had done something wrong, but she knew she had to be the calm one in this situation if she was going to find out what happened. Not to mention, she hated seeing Sam or Sebastian upset. 

His walls were coming down. Sam stuck the lollipop back in his mouth as a single tear fell from each of his eyes. It was only the beginning, but it was a sign he knew he could tell Abigail. She wasn’t going to push him away, right? Sam hadn’t told anyone he was gay before, but he certainly knew Abigail would be a safe person to tell. Sam remembered how accepting Abigail was when Sebastian had come out as bi. Sam and Abigail were actually the first to know, and they gave Sebastian all of their support. 

The one thing Sam knew he had to ask himself was if he was ready. Honestly? He knew he was ready. He swallowed as a few more tears rolled down his face. “Abigail… I’m gay.” He whispered softly. 

All worry had left Abigail’s face. She had seen little hints that Sam might be attracted to men, but she never wanted to assume. She did offer a hug to Sam, and he practically jumped into her arms. She playfully rolled her eyes a bit but gave her friend a platonic kiss on the head. “Proud of you, dude.” She said softly. “You know you have my endless support.” 

“I do..” Sam whispered as he nodded.

This wasn’t quite adding up in Abigail’s head. She was sure that Sebastian would accept Sam wholeheartedly if he had come out to him. Sebastian was a very accepting guy. “Is there more?” She asked softly. Abigail wouldn’t beg Sam to tell her; however, the way he was crying was evident that he was in pain. 

It took Sam a moment to nod. He tried to swallow. “I um… I think.. No, I know. I’m in love with Sebastian.” He said, this answer came in a very hushed whisper. It felt good to finally say it out loud. He had kept it in for so long. Abigail nodded as she listened to Sam talk so he knew that she was listening, and Sam was grateful for this. “He likes someone else.”   
“Oh, Sammy…” Abigail said, and felt nothing but sympathy for her friend. She wasn’t going to ask about whoever Sebastian liked despite how curious she may be. It wasn’t her thing to do know. “Does he know about you?”   
“No… I can’t.” Sam sniffled. He pulled away from Abigail as he was slightly shaking. “Abigail, he’d hate me. What if I lost him completely? He’s my best friend!” Sam exclaimed as he just cried harder. Of course his biggest fear was losing Sebastian. The emo had been there for Sam through thick and thin; he didn’t want to lose Sebastian over a silly little crush. 

Abigail shook his head a little bit. “He would never leave you, Sam. Seb loves you so much. You’re his best friend.” She assured him. “I’ve seen how two are around each other, and I don’t think either of you would trade that for anything in the world.”

Sam nodded, “You’re right… I wouldn’t.”   
“You two have been best friends since forever, Sam. Seb’s not going to just drop you.”   
“I don’t want to tell him.”

Again, Abigail just nodded her head. “I’m not telling you to do that right now, okay? There’s no rush. You never have to if that's not what you want.” She reassured him. Abigail didn’t want to sway Sam’s thinking at all. She just knew Sebastian would welcome him with open arms. “You don’t even have to think about coming out to him until you’re ready.”   
Sam sniffled as he rubbed his burning blue eyes. He had cried so much that day. After doing this, he looked at Abigail with the most innocent look in his eyes. “You’re not gonna tell him?” He asked. 

“Sammy, I would never. I’m not going to tell anyone. The fact you’re gay? That is your private information. No one’s going to know.” Abigail said as she gently rubbed Sam’s arm. She knew this was going to be hard for him. “Do you want to cancel band practice?”

“Yeah.”   
“I can talk to Bash, okay? I’ll tell him you’re not feeling well.”

“Thanks, Abby.” Sam sighed as he wiped away the rest of his tears. He went silent for a moment. As Abigail went to stand up, he did as well and gently grabbed her hand. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” Abigail said as she faced him all over again. She had to make sure that Sam was going to be okay after seeing him breaking down like that. She wanted him to take care of himself, but she wasn’t going to abandon him if he had a question or needed anything. 

Sam took a deep breath. He had to look down at the floor as he said this. Thinking about it often made him uncomfortable. “Um… did Sebastian break your heart?”   
She should’ve seen this one coming. She sighed as she went over to start packing up her drums. “Not quite…”

“You two weren’t in love?”   
Abigail sat down on the chair she had behind the drums as she put her drumsticks in the bag. She shook her head. “He didn’t love me like that turns out, but I loved him…” She answered and sighed. “I was upset, but I was the one who called it off.” Abigail remembered the situation. Sebastian was in no place in his life to be in a relationship; it was a terrible time for him. She wanted to give him the space he needed. 

Sam nodded. He never knew what truly happened, and he wasn’t going to push. “Did you ever get over him?” He questioned. 

Abigail sighed softly. “Sammy, Sammy, Sam… if you’re wondering about being in pain forever, you won’t be. You can move on whenever you’re ready.” She answered. Abigail didn’t want to watch Sam go through so much pain. “I’m here if you ever need to talk about it, okay?”   
Sam nodded a bit. He sat down on his bed. A weight appeared to be lifted off his shoulders. Abigail was one of his closest friends, and he was so grateful he had someone he could just talk to about this. “Thank you.” 

“Of course.” Abigail commented as she finished packing up. She’d come get the drumset another time since they had a gig that weekend, and she had an easier time when her drums were all in one place. “I’m gonna get you a water and tell Sebastian, okay? You should take it easy. Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”   
“Okay.”

“And do me a favor and don’t eat those lollipops all day.” Abigail commented, but grabbed one for herself anyways. She sighed as she popped the green one into her mouth. She looked over and noticed Sam’s tongue was red. “Seb hates charry, ya know.”

Sam nodded as he finished his lollipop. “That’s why I eat them, so he doesn’t have to.” Sam commented as he looked down at the bare lollipop stick. He knew there was a difference in the things he did as Sebastian’s best friend and the things he did because he was in love with him. Deep down he was hoping Abigail was right, that he could over with. Time could heal all wounds, right? Sam could only hope. Maybe someday he’d be able to come out to Sebastian too, but all that would have to wait for now. For now, he would spend the day attempting to nurse his broken heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, a second chapter! I wasn’t expecting this, but I’m enjoying writing this story. Will there be a third chapter? I’d like there to be, but who knows. Thank you so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this one. It’s one I’ve had on my mind for quite some time now. It was my first time writing Sam, so I do hope it went okay. Feel free to leave a comment of your thoughts.  
> Thank you so much for reading!


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